Wedding Blog
(The Stars - Favourite Book)

I'm contemplating a move of this blog onto another blog called tumblr. I've been on here forever and it'd be hard to move everything over but I am considering it b/c of the nice interface over on tumblr.

Sonia and I also started a wedding blog on that site. If you're bored, check it out. Not your typical blog. We won't gross you to death with the lovey-dovey stuff :)

Sonia-and-Khiem

It's going to be sad to see this blog go :( I'll let you know once I decide to move it permanently.

The Passive Aggressive Post

Maladapted
(Fake Plastic Trees - Radiohead)

A maladaptive behavior is a behavior or trait that is not adaptive — it is counterproductive to the individual. Maladaptivity is frequently used as an indicator of abnormality or mental dysfunction, since its assessment is relatively free from subjectivity. However, many behaviors considered moral can be apparently maladaptive, such as dissent or abstinence.

I sometimes marvel at how people with such an aptitude for logic, such as computer programmers, can be so poorly adjusted socially. I mean we all know that social interactions follow the basic principles of cause and effect. Similar to programming, you know that if you're testing a case, there are a number of possible outcomes and you would prepare your responses in accordance to these outcomes. So why is it that people are constantly baffled by certain human reactions? I've seen a lot of people whose intelligence completely dwarf my own (and I mean a lot of people!) and yet somehow, in the social world, I am so much more competent.

I think it has to do with exposure. I mean if you're not exposed to these reactions, and you haven't had any cause to create these types of responses, then surely you wouldn't be able to handle them at first encounter. But how is it possible that people go through their lives without experiencing these situations? Were they somehow too sheltered by their parents? Too focused on other traits that seemed far more desirable? And is there a certain prime age of learning these social skills? I mean similar to learning languages, is there somehow a diminishing learning/adaptive capacity as you get older?

I can't say I'm perfectly adapted or adaptive. I mean, ironically, I still do not know how to handle a crying woman. Though this is something I've witnessed and have been the cause of many times in my life.

These are things and questions that as I get older, I'd like to understand as to better prepare the kids I might have in the future.

Seriously...is this woman going to answer a damn question for once?

Best. Catch. Ever.
(Anyone Else But You - Moldy Peaches)

This is by far the best catch I've ever seen. I defy anyone to show me something better!

Genetic Gene Found in Women for Wedding Planning
(Hey There Delilah - Plain White T's)

So I went to the bridal show the other week and I'll tell you this much; I've never seen so many happy women and at the same time so many miserable men in one room in my entire life. To top that all off, I felt like bait in a shark tank during their feeding frenzy. Oh god, I would never wish this sort of punishment on anyone. Forget prison and the death penalty, I think we should send all of our inmates to bridal shows.

That being said, I suppose we got some deals on clothing, make-up (I'm going to look so friggin hawt in eyeliner) and got some ideas for our wedding.

A few details we've got out of the way so far...

Date : July 25, 2009
Venue : Grand Baccus
Photographers : Dave Biesse and Charlotte Leonard (check them out, they're fantastic)
Cost to offset the energy consumption used during our wedding : ~$135 to put green energy back into the grid.
Groomsmen : 4
Bridesmaids : 4
Ring Bearers : 1-2

And now I wait the next wave of pain from this thing called "wedding planning".

Fantasy Season
(Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Israel Kamakawiwo'ole)

This is the best commercial ever...

NFL.com Fantasy Rule #32 - There's no excuse for absence.

"You will take what we give you!"

For those who care about the environment and doing every little thing possible to help make a difference...

Challenge Me Green

For those who don't...

I heart GWB

Buried Treasure
(February Air - Lights)



If you know me, you know I like to rummage through racks of used cd's, old movies and bargain bins. It's not because I like to find a deal. It's because I like the feeling of finding buried treasure.

One of the best feelings in the world is finding something special in the mediocre.

Dating
(Drive My Soul - Lights)

Recently I've been helping a friend with his love life by creating an online dating profile on one of those free dating sites. I guess when it comes to online personas, mine is maybe a little more charismatic than his. So in the three or four days that I've been on the site I've created more leads with women than he's created in three months on the same site previously before giving up. So I gave him probably one of the most important tips for attracting the opposite sex.



And I'm no expert on dating or anything but I think I understand the human condition. Every human being whether that's a 32 year old woman or an 18 year old guy wants and needs inspiration. When people see others with a passion, a gift, or a talent, they feel like they can feed off of it. Somehow living vicariously off of it.



So how do you translate that into a successful online dating profile? Create something that inspires people. Write something that provokes deeper thought. Write something that someone else could relate to but never had the ability to put into words. This is the starting point for a conversation that's bound to happen as people look to you to inspire that next provocative thought.



Once you've established first contact my rule of thumb is this. You need to end every exhange with at least a question that creates an opening for people to open up to you. People naturally want to share intimate details with others to generate empathy. Everyone needs to feel like they aren't alone in whatever battles they might be fighting. You in return also need to share an intimate detail. Show some vulnerability but don't come off as some sort of pity case. No one wants to carry your baggage. They just need to know that you are also an imperfect human striving to find something better.



Hopefully after sharing intimate details back and forth you'll create a bond based on understanding and can inspire each other to something better. Maybe a happy existence.
Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

Heinous Villain
(Bohemia - Mae Moore)

So my friends and I have started giving each other supervillain/superhero names based upon our perceived "super powers". For example, I call my friend Stan Professor Moist because he sweats profusely when we do anything remotely active. His power is simply making things wet or slightly damp. I call my friend Garry Dr. Impulsive because he buys things on a whim (e.g. expensive kitchen cabinets, electronic devices, engagement rings). His power is singlehandedly keeping the economy steady with his unrelenting purchasing power. I call Sonia Ms. Green because of her penchant for saving the Earth one kilojoule and one recycled paper at a time.

My supervillain name happens to be Mr. Passive Aggressive or Mr. PA for short. My superpower involves not dealing with my problems directly but instead funneling off that anger in my everyday interactions with people. For example, letting air out of the tire of the HR lady's tire because of her pissy attitude towards me. Or shitting on her windshield, then breaking into her car and turning on the wipers.

As an evil genius and supervillain one of the things I came up with was the acronym "jkso". I often use it when I'm making a joke about someone that I secretly hate. Like, "Can you get any sluttier?...haha...jkso". Which basically translates to, "Can you get any sluttier?...haha...just kidding, sort of...bitch." It's my thinly veiled passive aggressive joke.

What's your superpower?

Save the date! July 25th is when I join club ball and chain!
Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

Ms. Green
(Hoppipolla - Sigur Ros)

So my face has started peeling very badly. I guess this is what happens when you are in the sun for 15 hrs without sunscreen. I wish I had kids, because this is something that I could show them for a fast lesson on why you need sunscreen.

Speaking of thinning ozone...elections are coming up soon for both Americans and Canadians. I hope everyone is thinking green in this upcoming year. I think it's an issue we can't ignore much longer. I am no saint when it comes to doing things for the environment but I think collectively, if we make it more of a priority, we can get some great stuff done.

Ms. Green (Sonia's superhero name...my supervillain name is Mr.PA aka the Passive Aggressive One) has already started planning our green wedding. No stretch SUV limos for you! I've already suggested using used toilet paper for our wedding invitations but so far the jury is out on that decision. Visiting our first venue tonight. I can't express to you how excited I am (my other supervillain name should probably be Sarcasmo). So much to do, so little time...

Coldplay last night!

Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

Mobile blogging! What will they think of next!

Maybe mobile mini-blogging!!! http://www.twitter.com/shaky_jake
Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

Ball and Chain
(DJ Sammy - Heaven (Candlelight Remix))

So back in 2004, I wrote a blog about nothing ever going as planned and that getting married was one of those things. That I hoped to one day wake up and be married. I guess the day has come and I've started to build my ball and chain. I am officially engaged as of this past weekend. Now for the fun of planning a wedding! I'm planning on hibernating for the rest of the year, hoping to wake up next fall in time for this glorious event.

Random Pieces of Media
(Maxwell - This Woman's Work)

Found this cool site that allows you to do post your own mixed tape...check it out!

www.shaky.muxtape.com

If you're a fan of Joss Whedon and his work in Buffy, Angel, Firefly and Serenity Now...or a fan of Neil Patrick Harris...check this link out.

dr.horrible

I just reserved my copy of Dexter season 2 on dvd from Amazon.com! Can't wait til season 3 starts this season!! If you haven't watched this show, watch it. Dexter mesmerizes!

On My Way to Phoenix
(Sufjan Stevens - Chicago)


In university I knew this girl who told me she loved the taste of cum. She also said that if she could, she'd collect it in a jar and dip her fries in them. After I puked a little in my mouth, I had a good laugh about it. And no, I did not date her.

I wonder if this is how they came up with the saying, "The juice is worth the squeeze."

Nothing's Going to Change My World
(Fiona Apple - Across the Universe)

So my company has asked me if I'd be interested in going to the UK for an extended period of time to help setup our new office there and to train some of our partners and presales team. I've told them that I would be willing to do it for a short time but I did not want to stay more than 6 months. Though nothing is concrete yet, the opportunity to travel reminds me of a decision I made just after university. I had a job offer to go to Japan to teach English for a year and I had turned it down. At the time I felt like I was behind in my career aspirations and a one year expedition was only going to delay it even further. So I decided to stay in Toronto and to work on starting my career. It turns out I didn't have much opportunity to do much that year in Toronto and I decided to go back to school the following year to do a post graduate. In retrospect, it was a missed opportunity to travel and see a culture outside of my own.

This time around, my career seems somewhat dependent on me going overseas and yet I am still hesitant in going. I think I finally realized why. While some people may say that it's merely a fear of being in a foreign land alone or being outside the comfort zone of my own environment, I think it's neither. I think it has more to do with the fact that home will always be where my heart is. And when I say home, I really mean being close to the people I love; whether that's family or friends. I can't imagine enjoying anything that doesn't involve my family or friends.

So on the one hand, I am missing out on opportunities to travel the world and experience new cultures. On the other hand, I am spending some of the most important times in my life close to the people who have shaped and defined who I am. It's a fair trade-off isn't it?

This isn't to say that I will turn down the opportunity to go to the UK outright or even that I will get the opportunity to turn it down. It merely affirms to me that my reasons for possibly not going, are not out of fear. That my heart tells me to stay.

Am I the only one that finds it hard to drift across the universe in pursuit of adventure without my friends and family?

Barrel of Monkeys
(Filter - Take My Picture)

Here's my Jamaica vacation a few weeks ago. I think I'm addicted to making these slideshows. It's like making your own music video.

Back Away From the Ledge Buddy
(Saul Williams - List of Demands)

Last night I passed out around 10pm after attempting to do my taxes. Let's just say that tax season is not fun for anyone. I was intending on a short 2 hr nap after which I would wake up to do some prep work for a meeting I had at 9am. Unfortunately I did not wake up until 6am this morning. After frantically working til 8am, I left for work and on my way to work I saw this goose. I couldn't help but think how much I'd rather be where he was than where I was going.

Is my attempt to depress you working?...cuz it's working on me!... jkso (just kidding, sort of)

Fracture
(Bob Marley - Turn Your Lights Down Low)

So I'm back from Jamaica. I haven't had a chance to gather the pictures and put together any fancy slideshows yet but I will tell you that I did have a good time, for the most part. I did have a sad moment on the last day of the trip that sort of bummed me out. While the gang went to the beach for the last time to frolic in the water, I decided to lay under the big Jamaican apple tree and read in the hammock. While reading Coupland's latest book The Gum Thief, I came across a passage where one of the main characters expressed his belief that at a certain age, people no longer wanted to be themselves. They wanted to escape and be anyone else but themselves. It's a common daydream of a lot of people; myself included. But this topic just reminded me of how lately I've felt like I've lost touch with a lot of my close friends. That somehow, the person that I am, or have become, isn't in line with the people they've become.

As we get older, it seems to me that the large diverse group of friends start to fracture into smaller collectives. Each collective having a solid base of commonalities. Whether they've recently started a family and share experiences in raising newly born kids, are going through new home ownership and renovation projects, or if they're still single and fighting off the waves of peer pressure to settle down -- there is some sort of common ground. As I look at some of these collectives, I can't say I feel like I fit in anywhere.

It's a lonely feeling.

I feel like I'm constantly trying to keep these friendships alive. Trying to keep the larger diverse group from diverging. As a larger group, I can relate to everyone. As more succinct entities, I seem out of place.

The irony is, the more I think about it, the more apparent it becomes that my constant need to organize group events for my friends is to stave off my own insecurities of slowly fading away from these peoples lives. And yet in the end, this group trip to Jamaica did nothing but remind me of this.

I sometimes wonder if I stopped caring, if all the friendships I've worked to maintain over the years would just wither up and fade away.

Blind Date
(Feist - My Moon My Man)

Mundane thought of the day...

If you're an ugly guy with no money, you should find out where all the hot blind chics hang out.

So I started googling for "places blind people hang out". This was one of the links that was returned...

Blind Golf

I've seen people hit with golf balls on regular sighted courses. What do you think the chances of getting hit on this course are? And what are you suppose to do when someone yells FORRRE? Roll up into a little ball and pray for the best? This is just a recipe for disaster.

That being said, I bet you'd find some really hot chics here.

Yes I'm going to hell.

I'm feeling fine!
(Maroon 5 - Won't Go Home Without You)

I started walking to work recently. My company office moved closer to my condo and the walk is about 1.6 km each way. I have always hated walking. Walking anywhere seems slow and tedious. I can’t seem to get over the fact that I’m wasting minutes of my life just getting from point A to point B. I think that says a little about my personality in general. I don’t typically stop to smell the roses on any journey. My journey is all about getting to the destination. I realize this has to be a shortcoming of mine or at the very least a failure in my upbringing. Yes, I blame my parents.

I’m looking to change though. I think these extended walks have at least given me some quiet time to contemplate/plot revenge on the world. I find with the daily rigors of life, there isn’t much time to do that. Which by default means that the people who are actually plotting in the world, don’t have lives.

I still don’t really stop to smell the roses. There aren’t many roses on the way to work, both figuratively and literally, just a lot of litter, traffic and smog. I wish people would stop chucking garbage out their car window. Biggest. Pet Peeve. Ever. Just do what I do, chuck it under the seat in your car and wait for the smell to remind you later to throw it out.

All that aside, I’m feeling good about this small change I’ve made in my life. Watch out world, there are more changes to come!

I've got the vacation Jones
(DCFC - Movie Script Ending)

I just made this video yesterday...but I've watched it about 10 times already. It just brings a smile to my face remembering the good times.

These are clips from a friend's wedding in Hawaii last year.

I'm headed to Jamaica in 2 weeks with some friends...hopefully we can create some memorable moments like these.

Don't Call It a Comeback
(Jonathan Coulton - Re: Your Brains)

Hello World!

Don't call this a comeback because I'm not sure how long I can keep this up but the gf asked me to revive this blog because she feels like it's some sort of a healthy medium for me to release some of my passive aggression and pent up anger. She also thinks that it shows a softer, deeper side of me that I don't typically show to people.

The question though is, do people in their early 30's really care to meet new people? I'm finding that the older we get, the more we shy away from introducing new people to our close circle of friends. The only exception being new significant others. Which leads me to a new rule I recently came up with for some of the guys in my group.

When you're actively pursuing a girl, you can introduce them to the group but please do not make a habit of bringing them out with the group until you've sealed the deal. Why you ask? Well if the girl becomes a regular at the social events and somehow, you fail in your pursuit, it makes things less awkward when we start avoiding her and not including her in our social festivities.

---

So I just got back from a weekend in Montreal for a friend's bachelor party. Without giving any names of the friends or posting pictures of the events, I think I can go into a little bit of the weekend without incriminating anyone in particular. Besides, who reads this blog anyhow?

So here are a few things I observed from this trip...

1) Strippers are apparently more conscious these days about being sanitary. They actually use hand sanitizer before giving lap dances. The question I have is, what about the rest of their body?

2) When you're drunk, your first instincts are probably a bit off. For example, when a stripper is rubbing clear liquid on her hands, it's probably not lubricant.

3) Paris Hilton has a surprisingly large fan base of teenage girls. What exactly are they looking up to? Is it her credible singing career? Is it her credible work on camera? Someone explain this to me.

4) Driving around Montreal with your window down and blaring old 80's tunes is surprisingly fun.

---

If you're my age, you probably missed most of the crazy internet lingo kids have been creating these days. But if you're interested in keeping up with what's hip and happening online, you can definitely catch up with these websites.

www.lolcats.com
www.lolcode.com

I try to learn one or two new things every week and then completely abuse it with all my friends and coworkers.

Like Rickrolling. I learned about this 2 weeks ago and turned into a Rickrolling machine!

If you're unfamiliar, the art of Rickrolling involves posting a misleading link with a subject that promises to be exciting or interesting, e.g. "World of Starcraft in-game footage!" or "Paris Hilton naked again!" but actually turns out to be the video for Rick Astley's debut single, "Never Gonna Give You Up".

Paris Hilton naked again!

My favourite part is at 2:07 when the black guy jumps on the fence. That's a dance move that only the 80's could invent.

In addition to Rickrolling, I've also added a few new internet words to my vocabulary.

PWN (verb)

An act of dominating an opponent.
e.g. "Oh snap, you got pwned!!" or "I totally pwn your ass in scrabble!"


FTW
"For The Win."

An enthusiastic emphasis to the end of a comment, message, or post. Sometimes genuine, but often sarcastic. Originated from the game show Hollywood Squares where the result of the player's response is expected to win the game.
e.g. "Jabbawockeez FTW!!!" or "Egg McMuffins FTW!!!"

r0x0r

Rocks, very good. Used in place of "that guy rocks".
e.g. "omg he r0x0r!!"

and similarily...

suX0r

Describes something that sucks.
e.g. "this blog srsly sux0r."

And with that...I'm going to bed!